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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27296287">singing while rome burns</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilikemybooksthick/pseuds/ilikemybooksthick'>ilikemybooksthick</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>between the shadow and the soul [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Formula 1 RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Hopeful Ending, Introspection, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:40:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>679</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27296287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilikemybooksthick/pseuds/ilikemybooksthick</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>People are trapped in history and history is trapped in them. – James Baldwin</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg (past)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>between the shadow and the soul [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2013985</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>singing while rome burns</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Directionless_Foray/gifts">Directionless_Foray</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>History.  </p>
<p>He’s made it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s also the only subject he failed in school.</p>
<p>Ironic, isn’t it?</p>
<p>The fact that he’s in the very books he never bothered to understand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Math, science, he loves them. He excels in them. They make sense.</p>
<p>Clear cut.</p>
<p>Analytical.</p>
<p>Logical.  </p>
<p>He tried the same approach with history.</p>
<p>This event at this date lead to the following event at this date.</p>
<p>But it doesn’t work that way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>History isn’t addition and subtraction. There isn’t a scientific method.</p>
<p>It’s written, rewritten, and written again, over and over; constantly reshaping itself.</p>
<p>The more you learn about it, the messier it gets.</p>
<p>There are always more people there, more detail here, more reasons why so and so happened.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s overwhelming.</p>
<p>Suffocating.</p>
<p>The weight of the past.</p>
<p>The weight we constantly carry.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Someone once told him a famous quote, “<em>History is a set of lies agreed upon</em>.”</p>
<p>But, of course, he can’t remember who said it.</p>
<p>It’s someone French. Famous.</p>
<p>Possibly a king? Surely a Louis or something like that.</p>
<p>And maybe that’s true.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s so much that’s left out. So much left unsaid. So much not understood by those on the outside looking in.</p>
<p>Lies of omission.</p>
<p>Denial.</p>
<p>Minimization.</p>
<p>Error.</p>
<p>Fabrication.</p>
<p>Exaggeration.</p>
<p>So many lies.</p>
<p>So much pretending.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“I didn’t mean to….”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I meant to…”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I know him…”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I didn’t know….”</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Friends is a strong word.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“We’re not friends.”</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The lies become truth, the truth becomes lies, and then it all becomes so much of a blur you don’t know which is which anymore.</p>
<p>But things were said and they were written down and there’s a Wikipedia page about it.</p>
<p>The page, the history, is being written and rewritten right now, as the present becomes the past and the future becomes the present.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The present is hungry to become a haunting past and the future is pretending it’s going to be different.</p>
<p>He should have paid closer attention in class.</p>
<p>He should have learned.</p>
<p>Maybe then he’d understand that despite being a winner, he’s never going to write his own history.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’ll always be his father’s son.</p>
<p>The first to do etcetera since the last person who did it.</p>
<p>A rival of a legend like all the rivals before them.</p>
<p>His daughters bear his father’s name.</p>
<p>Someone already replaced him and they will be replaced too.</p>
<p>There will always be legends and there will always be their rivals.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hunt and Lauda.</p>
<p>Senna and Prost.</p>
<p>Hakkinen and Schumacher.</p>
<p>Hamilton and Rosberg.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was never meant to be this way.</p>
<p>It’s not what they wanted.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He tries his best to write it anyway.</p>
<p>As the future rushes by him, he tries so hard to write history the way winners were promised they could.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But he’s not the only winner and by contrast he hasn’t won much.</p>
<p>It took him decade to win a title and five days to end a career.</p>
<p>It takes so much and it takes so little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He doesn’t understand it.</p>
<p>He never learned.</p>
<p>He should have.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He watches as someone he loves, someone who loved him, rewrites history every week.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But it works both ways.</p>
<p>His father once overshadowed him and now, as time goes on, he’s the Rosberg everyone knows.</p>
<p>He might be a side note in Lewis’ history but without him you can’t write the whole story.</p>
<p>They’re incomplete without the other and they know it.</p>
<p>History isn’t complete without him and it never will be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But at what cost?</p>
<p>It’s too high a price.</p>
<p>He gave up everything he could until it was too much and he had to walk away.</p>
<p>And walking away didn’t fix what was broken and he doesn’t know what will.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But still, he hopes.</p>
<p>Everyday history is being written and as the past repeats itself, maybe it’s not too late.</p>
<p>He’s learning and maybe, one day, that will be enough.</p>
<p>Maybe, one day, he’ll be forgiven.</p>
<p>Maybe, one day, the very thing that brought them together, that broke them apart, will bring them back together again.</p>
<p>Maybe, one day, history will look kindly at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One day.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>One of my degrees is in history so I'm pretty biased. </p>
<p>Napoleon was the Frenchman who said the quote.<br/>(Nico once misquoted Wayne Gretzky as Michael Jordan so him not remembering felt accurate to me.)</p>
<p>Title from Richard Siken. I feel like all of his poetry applies to these two. </p>
<p>These boys cause me so much pain so I hope this made you feel something too.</p>
<p>Thank you for reading! ❤❤❤ <br/>You can talk to me on <a href="https://ilikemyficthicc.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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